Thursday, February 19, 2009

Chocoholics Anonymous

Max Brenners Chocolate by the Bald Man, NYC

My name is Oma and I am a chocoholic.

I am not looking for meetings.
I am looking for bars.

841 Broadway in Manhattan

I left The Strand bookstore at lunchtime,
and walked across the street,
looking for a salad bar,
but I found a chocolate bar instead.

The waitress asked,
"Can I bring you a hot chocolate to start?"
She asked for my specifications of light, dark, sweet, semi-sweet,
creamy, frothy, thick . . .
It came in a mug especially designed to hold with both hands
(so they will be warmed up when you drink it down.)

Peanut Butter Crepe

On the lunch menu there was a peanut butter crepe.
"What could be more lunch-like?" I thought as I ordered.

Peanut Butter Crepe
A light French pancake, spread with peanut butter,
and smothered with melted chocolate chunks.
Homemade vanilla ice cream, with hardened chocolate fondue,
toffee bananas, and a pitcher of warm toffee caramel,
topped with candied hazelnut crunchy bits.

"Is this place even legal?" I wondered.
Just in case prohibition comes back and shuts down bars,
I copied a few of the Max Brenner specialties for your vicarious enjoyment.

Urban Smores
Graham Crackers spread with melted chocolate spread,
served with marshmallows
and your own personal grill (to roast your marshmallows.)

Pots of peanut butter, toffee bananas and raspberry sauce
are on the side for dipping.

Ivory Heart
Warm chocolate cake filled with a double layer of melted
pure white chocolate and chocolate cream.
Fresh strawberries
with sides of chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream,

Topped with chocolate fondue.

Chocolate Pizza
Warm, thin pastry
topped with melted chocolate chunks,
melted marshmallows and candied, crushed hazelnuts.
Peanut butter, toffee bananas and chocolate sauce.

They had chocolate soup, chocolate French fry sauce,
chocolate salad dressing . . . cookies, brownies, malts . . .
there was a gift shop featuring cocoa butter lotions,
chocolate scented candles,
and boxes you fill yourself from a variety of chocolates.

And let me tell you why the bald guy started this store:
His girlfriend had to have a piece of chocolate before bed,
or she had bad dreams.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

My name is Oma and I am a Chocoholic.


Annie said...

I've loved your postcards these last few days! Oh, Marty, I love Max Brenner's too and came upon it the same way: we were leaving The Strand (I think we went to a movie at that theater right there too), looked up and there it was. I think I might have heard angels singing.

Reading your experience and remembering was *almost* as good as being there. Well, who am I kidding? Nothing could be as good as being there!

Olive's Granddaughter said...

Oh my gosh! I had a sugar and caffeine rush just reading your post card!

Ahh. Traveling is good for the soul, isn't it?

Jake said...

So glad you discovered it. Will take the kids on our Statue of Liberty visit!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my-- I can't even think straight-- I'm on such a chocolate high.

Bev said...

Oh my! Sounds like a little bit of heaven!!

Christie said...

Seriously, you have no idea how much saliva is dripping down my chin right now. I am three seconds from hopping on a plane by myself and going there. OH MY GOSH.

Keri said...

Well I hope you're happy now! Had to dial the number to my Chocoholics sponsor so that she could talk me down from the ledge. She's not very convincing, so I fell off the bandwagon instead!

(I was pushed I tell you - PUSHED!)


Its hard but I will pass on the chocolate and take my time with the mysteries and the buttons. Great finds

Jenibelle said...

Oh my! I need a sponsor pronto!
Did you at least order a Diet Pepsi to counterbalance the calories?

marta said...

this is a must see on my next i heart new york trip. oma, it's all thanks to you. you always find the best hidden travel treasures. thanks for sharing and not keeping this one a secret. can't wait to get my chocolate on!