Monday, June 2, 2008

Incisor Trading


Eclectic Collector

I've kept a few things secret. I haven't wanted to prejudice you against me, but I think we know each other well enough now: I'm married to a Tooth Collector. I've told you that Dee is eclectic, but I don't think I've mentioned eccentric. (Don't read any further if you're squeamish.)

These are a few of his treasures. They are the wisdom teeth from our children's mouths. (He intends to make them into a necklace for me.) Soaked in his patented bleach concoction overnight for sterilization purposes, they are stashed away in a little pouch for show-and-tell occasions. It's gross.

Pete 1983

Back in the day Dee loved to relieve the kids of their loose teeth. The first one was always jiggled out by Dad the very day it was discovered. After that the kids avoided his sweet-talk and pliers until there was just a tiny thread between their tooth and a dollar under their pillow. Promises of money persuaded them to endure a swift jerk.

Jake 2007

Opa has been known to harass grandchildren, hoping they would let him coax a wiggler along.

Amy, 1983

Dee made some sort of pact with the real Tooth Fairy, so that he got all the baby teeth back for his personal stockpile. I guess she can be bought off cheap, because here they all are.

Wouldn't it be cool if he dumped these gems out and they were pearls instead of pearly whites?

Gabi, 2008

Our beautiful daughter had a visit from the tooth fairy recently. In keeping with her agreement, the fairy dutifully sent this opalescent jewel back to Dad.

It's going to be the centerpiece of my necklace.
(I'm saying that tongue-in-cheek, of course.)

Do you know anyone with quirky hobbies?






14 comments:

gab said...

Ummmm...still checking under my pillow!

p.s. Grrrrreat title!

Lindsey said...

Um, I am speachless.. (said through closed lips and a closed mouth)... I wouldn't want to give him any ideas.

Lindsey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christie said...

I think this side of Opa is the only side that scares me a little bit. Gross!

Ashlee said...

That is honestly...really and truly gross. I say this remembering that I have all of my sons teeth upstairs in a little baggy. So, I guess I'm gross too! :0)

Sheri said...

WOW! And I thought I was weird for saving toe nail clippings all these years! (Just kiddin')

Joy Des Jardins said...

I have my kids baby teeth in little containers in my jewelry box....that's where the tooth fairy kept them when after she traded them for the big $$$.

kenju said...

Uh......not like that, I don't...LOL.

I'm not usually a squeamish person, but that is creepy.

mama jo said...

i have some of the kids teeth...love dee's jammies...

Nimmy said...

Gabi's tooth is the wierdest one I've ever seen! What happened there?

diane said...

Who's the swift jerk? Sorry, I couldn't resist. My friend's brother collected toe and finger nails. I collect dolls and lots of people think that's creepy.

raehan said...

Rachel keeps her teeth. This is where she's heading???

Millie said...

This is GROSS! I couldn't look at the pictures with all the teeth. Sorry, but NOT my cup of tea.

Ink Poison said...

I'm just trying to picture the saved teeth of four kids against your seven. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad?