Showing posts with label Love Letters to Dee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love Letters to Dee. Show all posts

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Happy 43rd Anniversary!


September 9, 1969

"Love at first sight is understandable.
Staying in love is the miracle."


September 9, 1969

"Tell me who you love and I'll tell you who you are."


June 1971

"A great discovery in marriage is that you can grow separately
without growing apart."

June 1983

"The most important things in life aren't things."


October 2008

"Love isn't just gazing at each other,
it's looking out in the same direction."

November 2011

Me: I think you're starting to rub off on me.
Dee: That's good. I've been trying to lose some weight.

I would rather do nothing with this guy
than something with anybody else!







Friday, April 6, 2012

Marriage Should Be Fun

"Falling in love at first sight is understandable.
It's staying in love that's the miracle."

Five things my true love and I have done together lately:
  1. Discussed architecture.
  2. Taken a road trip.
  3. Chatted with grandkids.
  4. Listened to Taylor Swift.
  5. Counted our blessings.
Having fun together helps us stay in love.

Ten things I've been thinking about staying in love:
  1. I think people fall out of love if they don't look for reasons to stay in love.
  2. I think love is a verb. It is something you do, not something you expect.
  3. I think a woman isn't grown up until she takes responsibility for her own happiness.
  4. I think it's a shame that many women see a spouse or children as the cause of their downfall, and suppose that success comes only after they are free of them. This sad belief is everywhere!
  5. I think couples who speak kindly and lovingly to each other will be happier.
  6. I think we need to check the map and see if the road we're on is taking us to the place we want to go.
  7. I think the weather segment on the 10:00 news has become way to long. (Just checking to see if you're still reading.)
  8. I think it's too bad that some women are nicer to a stranger than they are to their husband.
  9. I think that you can't work on togetherness if you're never together.
  10. I think a good marriage takes a lot of practice.
Forty three years ago Dee and I fell in love at first sight.
It was fun.
We fall in love over and over, as we gain insight.
That is even more fun!




Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Trust Your Instincts



"Hi, Opa." The little voice squeaked with worried tears.
"We have a big prob-wem!" His panic came through the phone.
"Songbear needs surgery, and there's nobody else who can help us."


Songbear is Benji's best friend, and he'd been hugged til his stuffing was coming out.
A holiday bath had made things worse, and Benji was feeling his buddy's pain.
"Can you help us?" he whimpered.


Opa perfected his sewing skills years ago with Cub Scout shirts and Boy Scout patches. There's nobody he'd rather pick up a needle for than a little boy. He arranged to meet his patient at the Christmas Eve party.


All during the festivities Opa snipped and stitched.



"I'm trying not to hurt him," he said as the needle poked a furry backside.


When Operation Songbear was complete, Benji tied the final knot.
The perfect Christmas present.
(Who needs Santa when you've got an Opa?)

Forty three years ago, when I was just nineteen, I met a 22-year-old boy. We were on a semester abroad without the accouterments we normally judge people by. I didn't know his family, what kind of car they drove, how they interacted. I'd never seen him in real life—his clothes, his friends, his house.

Ten days later we decided to get married. My parents freaked out when they got the letter. What was I thinking? They didn't know a thing about him! But I did. Our first Saturday together he shined my shoes.


Something told me he'd be an awesome Opa.




Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Dee-Day


Dee, three.

This is a War Baby, born 9 months (plus a few hours) after his WWII soldier dad returned to his waiting wife. A true Boomer. And he's mine.

You could not meet a more interesting guy. That's a direct result of the fact that he's interested in EVERYTHING. By the time I met Dee when he was 22 he was already an expert in European History, World Geography, the British Military, photography, German philosophy, politics and US current events. He collected coins and stamps, knew diverse things about music, Rommel, Hubert Humphrey and art. I was fascinated.

He'd worked in a pizza place, hoed sugar beets, stocked fabric bolts, and managed a pro-shop at a golf course, saving for college from the time he was 13. He'd lived in Germany, met Bobby Kennedy, been a boy scout, worked at Grand Canyon, skinny-dipped in the river, hunted pheasants, and made fires to roast grasshoppers for a picnic. He'd tracked trains, then put nails and coins on the tracks to watch them get flattened. He had a Tom Sawyer type childhood, a hard-working, studious youth, and was smarter than anyone I'd ever met.

We'd been married a couple of years when he received a triple degree in German, European Studies and History from BYU (he had planned to go into foreign service, the CIA or the Intelligence field) and with a wife, a daughter and a son on the way, he continued a job in real estate as a developer and builder. He built about 50 homes, a subdivision, some condos, office buildings and a business park and was involved in the politics of water rights, irrigation feuds, and building permits. He arbitrated, negotiated, and stagnated. It was time to move on.

After reinventing himself with a year at The King's Manor in York, England he received another degree in Architectural History and Preservation. Dee's first business venture after returning home was to sponsor a three-day, world-wide conference on retro-fitting historic buildings with hydraulic springs to prevent damage during an earthquake. The Salt Lake City and County Building was the first building in the world to benefit from the new technology and Dee's conference was well-attended by architects from all over the world who wanted to observe and learn first hand.

Salt Lake City and County Building, World Wide Symposim

He began writing books on historic buildings, and architectural styles and features, which led to books about towns, individuals, businesses and families. He's now written over 50 privately commissioned books, becoming an expert on each new topic, spending months, even years, studying the various subjects.

It's fun to watch Dee immerse himself in a new interest. When he wrote a book about a Jewish Rabbi in Seattle, it led him to 1860's silver mines in Colorado and the beginnings of a rabbinical school in Cincinnati. The story of a San Francisco bridge building company took us to an ancestral winery in Germany, as well as a study of the construction of the Channel Tunnel between England and France.

Early logging in Ontario's rivers, and the establishment of Quaker Meetings in Pennsylvania, pirates settling Newfoundland and ghost towns in Southern Utah have become a few areas of expertise for Dee. He loves to dig out the stories behind the stories and he becomes well acquainted with people long gone. He knows people's businesses and ancestors better than they do themselves, and he appreciates the hard work and sacrifice of unknown heroes. His research skills are superb. He can find everything that's been written about anything, consolidate and unify the information, add to it, and then condense it to a form that's factual and entertaining. He would find the history of dirt intriguing, and you would, too, if he wrote about it!

Dee has an incredible memory for dates and places involving anyone else, and when he gets going on a little historic recitation he's thorough to the point of . . . well, thoroughness. But it's almost impossible to get him to talk about his own memories. He's foggy on the details.

We got married 42 years ago in September, and a few weeks later on his birthday I baked him a cake. He came home from school, saw it on the table and was overcome. "I've never had a birthday cake before," he told me emotionally. He hadn't? Where was his mother? What kind of deprived childhood had he come from? I vowed to make it all up to him. I'd give him memorable celebrations that would overwhelm his past disappointments.

The next year, true to my promise, I baked him a triple decker. When he walked in, his eyes misted over and he whispered tremulously, "Oh, my gosh, Dear. I've never had a birthday cake before."



Like I said, he's an interesting guy. The best part is that he's interested in me!


Happy Birthday, Dear!







Monday, February 14, 2011

Love Remembers


"The truth is, I would rather do nothing with you,
than something with anybody else."
—Leigh Standley

1969:
There was a poem on a calendar and I asked Dee to translate it.


"This is what it means," he said:

"You are mine, I am thine.
This you must always remember.

You are locked inside my heart,

and the tiny key is lost.

You must stay inside forever."


Our hearts were opening to each other. We were getting ready to invite each other in, and we were completely unaware of what that would mean . . . forever. Immer noch.

On Valentine's Day I always link to my favorite romantic tale:
Our Love Story .

Have you written yours?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Scary Stuff: Turning 64!

Looking back

"Will you still need me . . . when I'm sixty four?"
"There's no doubt about it. I'll love you even more."

Click here for my homemade Opa Movie.

(Happy Birthday, Dear!)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Raise Your Expectations


"If we did all the things we are capable of,
we would literally astound ourselves."
—Thomas Edison

My new best friend is Ruby. I'm with her 24/7 and I really like her. Maybe it's because I made her up. Anyway, I've learned a lot from her.

At eighteen she fell for the wrong guy. Most of us did that, but she thought he was her ticket out of a boring life, and literally fell for him, hoping that would keep his attention. It did, for a few hours—just long enough for him to leave her with a souvenir of their, um . . . friendship.

Trying to do the right thing by her new little guy, she left the baby with her mother so she could go to a new place and start over. Back in 1873 there weren't many career choices for an untrained young girl, so, sad to say, she fell back into her area of expertise.

Now, as a soiled dove, she has forgotten who she really is. Stuck in The Fat Chance Saloon, she accepts the lie: "You think you're capable of something more? Fat Chance!"

On the surface, Ruby and I don't have much in common. But I have stayed a few times at the Fat Chance Saloon, and I know how it feels to wonder if I am capable of something more.

Ruby might be rescued if someone sees her potential and helps raise her expectations. Time and again, I have had that experience. Lucky for me, I fell in love with the right guy, and he didn't ride off with all my hopes and dreams. He keeps handing them to me, over and over and over.

I hope Ruby finds a guy like mine. Maybe I'll make one up!

(Here's a scene I worked on today.)

Excerpt from
Son of a Gun

by
Marty Halverson

Jute started a small fire. Pre-empting the conversation, he said, “I don’t think we ought to talk about you and the woman, Boss. It ain’t really fitting. There’s things that won’t stand a straight answer, and what’s between a man and a woman is one of ‘em.”

“You liked her, though, didn’t you?” asked Leo.

“Sure. She seemed a right nice lady.”

“You call her a lady. That’s sort of funny under the circumstances.”

“No, I don’t reckon it is. Not the way I see things.”

The wizened cowboy fussed with the coals, shifted his legs, and finally got out the rest of his reply.

“Well, let’s just put it this way, Boss. I’ve knowed whores I’d take my hat off to, and respectable women I wouldn’t spit on.”

“I know what you mean,” said Leo soberly. “It’s the kind of thing where people are more what they think they are, than what they really are. You know what I’m trying to say, Jute?”

“Yes, sir, I do. It’s what I meant about Miss Jewel.”

“Her real name’s Ruby, Jute . . . Ruby.” They sat still again, watching and listening to the flames.

“I reckon most of us don’t get a second chance,” mused Leo. “We don’t get to be our better selves. Folks just expect us to keep on being, and we live down to their expectations. It’s a shame.”

*Homework:

~Who is someone you know who's staying at the Fat Chance Saloon? List some achievements you've observed, and send them a note of congratulations. Raise their expectations by reminding them who they already are.


Thursday, June 24, 2010

Love Letters

Photo by Stie

Me: I think you're starting to rub off on me.

Dee: That's good. I've been trying to lose some weight.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

History in the Making

Chelsea, Liza, Jill

So, Opa, how do you write a book?


Lucy and Opa

You have to read all this first?


Opa's Office

How long does it take to type?


Storytime

Maybe we'll write about you someday!

*Homework:

~Find out something about your grandpa and write it down for future generations.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Exercise

Mountain Man, 2008

Tonight I asked Dee why he was limping.
"My morning swim kills my legs.
It's the price I pay for fitness."



Friday, May 22, 2009

History in the Making

"Nobody trusts a young historian."

The door opened and I heard the jingle of Dee's keys as he put them on the table. Then I heard his briefcase thump as he dropped it on the chair. I went in to say hello and was startled to see his mud-streaked pants. He looked miserable! His arms and the backs of his hands had splotches of caked, dried mud spotting them, his shirt was damp and dirty and there were patches of mud on his forehead when he removed his wet baseball hat.

"What happened to you?" I asked. In a pathetic whimper he said, "Dear, I've had a really bad day."

He peeled off his wet and dirty duds, washed the mud out of his hair, and came into the kitchen shaky with hunger. After a restorative ham sandwich, he was able to tell me his tale.

Dee puts the story in history.

Dee is writing a second volume about the history of Midway, Utah, this time detailing the stories of more contemporary events and people. He had an interview scheduled with a former mayor. The 80+ year-old rancher met Dee at the town hall, riding a Mule. It does everything the animal does: packs a load and is sure-footed on steep curves. But it's more like a 4-wheel drive golf cart, open on the sides for a breezy ride.

The mayor wanted to show Dee some particular accomplishments of his administration, and said they could get there easier in the Mule. Dee hopped aboard and they toured the irrigation ditches and discussed bringing water to the desert community in pioneer times. They visited some of the numerous old homes, and drove up to the top of Snake Creek Canyon. It was a great interview from both perspectives. The mayor had lots to talk about and finally somebody anxious to listen, and Dee was filling in many gaps in his research. There's no source like an original source, and this guy had actually lived Dee's story.

Suddenly there was a lightning bolt and an immediate crash of thunder. A cloudburst drenched them both within seconds. The rain wasn't falling down, it was being blown sidewards right through the open sides of the cart. The rancher knew all the hide-a-ways, and drove quickly to a passageway under the road where sheep cross without blocking traffic. The men clamored out of their cart and slid down to the tunnel, where they stood, sheltered from the pelting rain, listening to the fireworks going off in the sky. After about 30 minutes, the clouds cleared, and the sun came out.

As Dee was climbing the slick mud hill back up to the road, he lost his footing and slid, finally losing his balance and landing face first in the sludge. Embarrassed in front of his weathered guide, he said it was nothing, he was fine. He must have convinced the old guy, because he continued the excursion around the valley while Dee air-dried.

When he was dropped off back at the town hall, the mud was too wet to brush off, and not dry enough to chip off, but on the hour-long drive home it hardened and most of the big chunks fell off when he climbed out of the car. He staggered to our door and burst inside in a poof of dust.

Some people think historians just sit in a library and memorize dates. Not always. Lots of the time they're exploring interesting places looking for clues to unravel a mystery. The clues are in the types of mortar used in the buildings, the way the stones were cut, the tools left forgotten in the back of an ancient barn. There are clues in irrigation records, carved in tree trunks, and especially in the memories of old folks who did things the hard way and built a community.


Dee writes about many previously unknown heroes who made a difference in the past that made an impact on the future. They crossed rivers, stood against enemies, harvested boulders, chopped down trees, faced fire and floods, and probably had a lot of really bad days. I think Dee takes pleasure in having a bad day of his own once in a while, while pursuing and telling their stories.

Who in your past made a difference? What difference are you making for the future? If you've ever found yourself wallowing in the mud, writing about how you got out is really important. It might make a difference to somebody else when they have a really bad day. That's your history, in the making.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Be Mine

Dee and Marty, December 2008

Forty years ago today Dee officially became my Valentine.
This is our poem.

Ich bin dein,
Du bist mein.
Das muß du gewiß sein.
Du bist beschloßen im meinen Herzen,

Verloren ist daß Schlußellein.
Du muß immer drinnen sein.

Loosely translated:
I am yours,
You are mine.
You must know it now.
You are locked inside my heart
And the little key is lost.
You must stay inside forever.

I hab dich immer noch ganz Lieb!



Sunday, October 5, 2008

Life Lines

Toddler


Kid


Missionary


Vagabond


Husband


Graduate


Dad


Developer


Historian


Opa


Traveler


Content.



Happy Birthday to You!!!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Secrets of a Happy Marriage

The Stars of Our Marriage
1969-2008


"There are many things, I'm sure,"
she said, "without which we could not live...
But love is the only one I can think of."

Some secrets for staying in love, so you never have to live without it:
  1. Recall why you fell in love in the first place.
  2. Count your together blessings, together.
  3. Tell private jokes, and laugh often.
  4. Think about the problems you used to have and how you solved them together.
  5. Anticipate doing something you both love to do.
  6. Watch your favorite old movie.
  7. Take a long drive and listen to the music of your olden days.
  8. Pray for each other.
  9. Decide that unity is more important than being right.
  10. Remember that love is not something you get, it's something you do.
Art by Warren Davis

My marriage is 39 years old today,
and I count my lucky stars!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Incisor Trading


Eclectic Collector

I've kept a few things secret. I haven't wanted to prejudice you against me, but I think we know each other well enough now: I'm married to a Tooth Collector. I've told you that Dee is eclectic, but I don't think I've mentioned eccentric. (Don't read any further if you're squeamish.)

These are a few of his treasures. They are the wisdom teeth from our children's mouths. (He intends to make them into a necklace for me.) Soaked in his patented bleach concoction overnight for sterilization purposes, they are stashed away in a little pouch for show-and-tell occasions. It's gross.

Pete 1983

Back in the day Dee loved to relieve the kids of their loose teeth. The first one was always jiggled out by Dad the very day it was discovered. After that the kids avoided his sweet-talk and pliers until there was just a tiny thread between their tooth and a dollar under their pillow. Promises of money persuaded them to endure a swift jerk.

Jake 2007

Opa has been known to harass grandchildren, hoping they would let him coax a wiggler along.

Amy, 1983

Dee made some sort of pact with the real Tooth Fairy, so that he got all the baby teeth back for his personal stockpile. I guess she can be bought off cheap, because here they all are.

Wouldn't it be cool if he dumped these gems out and they were pearls instead of pearly whites?

Gabi, 2008

Our beautiful daughter had a visit from the tooth fairy recently. In keeping with her agreement, the fairy dutifully sent this opalescent jewel back to Dad.

It's going to be the centerpiece of my necklace.
(I'm saying that tongue-in-cheek, of course.)

Do you know anyone with quirky hobbies?