The Shadow Knows

Could I be turning into a geek?

Today I slept until noon and then took a nap. It's because I'm exhausted. I stay up 'til all hours on the computer almost every night. I never have time to read a book any more, and I haven't been shopping online for months. I am becoming concerned. I check my email before I brush my teeth in the morning, wondering if I've been validated sometime between 2:am and 8.

My friend Kris and I usually have same-track of mind thinking, so I was interested in her post about comments. I've had thoughts exactly opposite of hers. I've decided lurking might not be all bad.

Fred Thompson is a lurker. Not on my blog, I'm sure, but in his presidential race. He sits on the sidelines, and because he's not really in, he doesn't have to be responsible. He hasn't declared himself yet, and therefore he can watch everybody else fall on their face, and wait to see what happens.

In Blogland, lurkers get to observe but they aren't responsible yet, either. They can comment if they feel like it, but nobody expects them to, so they don't feel guilty if they don't. They never wonder what they're going to write about, because they haven't declared to the world that they're posting opinions on a daily basis. And they don't worry that they'll hurt some one's feelings or lose a reader if they don't respond to a comment within 24 hours, because they have no readers. It doesn't seem fair. I realize, however, that I have put this responsibility on myself. Nobody is making me stay up all night....this is a hobby!

So, I'm going back into lurkdom. I'm still going to post whenever I feel like it, which will be almost daily, but I'm not going to stress about it if it's midnight and I don't have a topic. I'm going to comment when I have time, but not respond to every comment. I know that sounds lame, but you don't know what I go through when I compose a comment. I come up with a great paragraph or two, then realize I'm plagiarizing either the author or the other commenters, so I rewrite it. Then I check my spelling, and because I haven't figured out how to use spellcheck on comments, I'm using a dictionary. After re-reading it, I decide it's a dumb comment anyway, and usually change it to "Great post!" I start the exercise all over again on the next blog I read.

I always check the blog of anyone who comments on mine, and in order to leave a sincere comment on theirs, I read several of the former posts. I've usually spent a couple of hours on the computer doing all this before I even start writing my own article (which is how I think of my post.) I've stopped surfing the web, because I don't have time to find anyone new to feel responsible towards. I have a list of blogs in my bookmarks that I saved for a time I had time, and I've never even gone back to them.

So, if I've been commenting regularly on your blog and you don't hear from me for a while, just know that I'm still reading it every time it lights up my bloglines. If you comment on mine, you can be assured I'm thrilled to know I said something that connected us, although I might not get back to you. I just feel like I need to back off a little bit, and get some sleep! I can't become a total geek! But, I'll be lurking in the shadows.