Mother of Invention

I am looking for an inventor, because I have something I want invented.

(Please email this post to any inventors you know. I think I should get 25% of the profits, but it's negotiable. I have two lawyers in the family, so if I see this in anyone's house without my name on it, they'll come after you with warrants and subpoenas and stuff.)

This is want I have in mind: A Babushka.
(That is another word for Grandma.)

It is a changing table/swing/bouncy seat substitute, that is highly decorated and unique, for use in a kitchen or family room. It would look like a piece of furniture rather than baby equipment. It is completely safe and childproof. It could be used as an instant place to set a baby and secure him using only one hand, without bending over.

It is five feet tall and looks like a Russian Babushka/Matrushka type stacking doll. It is beautifully designed and painted.
It is very stable at the bottom, weighted somehow so it will not fall over, even with a toddler scaling it. The base is about the size of a high chair, and it would take up that much space in a room.

There is a cupboard in the front (not noticeable because of the painting) with two divided shelves, giving four cubby holes. These hold diapers, wipes, etc. The cupboard has a built in child lock device, so it takes an extra squeeze to open it.

There is a foot pedal in the back that opens a diaper genie type trash container. There's a built in slot for a box of plastic garbage bags, and a box of baking soda. The bags are very easy to change and can be lifted out with one hand without bending over. There is a childproof handle on this opening, as well.

Here is the genius part: The arms on the Babushka can be lifted up or lowered to different positions which lock into place. It is easy to maneuver with one hand. They can be completely flat (for a changing table) or bent into a seat (like a baby swing) and all angles in between to allow for a newborn baby (only slightly angled) or even a toddler.

There is a safety bar that lowers over the baby to lock him comfortably in position. This is similar to a car seat but without straps or buckles. It can be done with one hand. The lock must also be childproof, but easy to manage. I am thinking of a keypad, so a mom could type in "open" but a toddler could not.

The seat has hydraulics (or something) that allow it to be raised to different heights. The idea is that you won't have to bend over to change the baby or put it in the seat.

The seat can be set to pulse slowly (like a heartbeat) or swing softly. It can be set at the chosen movement, like a baby swing.

There is a built in bottle prop. (I know it's wrong to prop a bottle, but lately I'm feeding twins who want to eat at the same time. Nobody has to use it, but it would be handy at times.)

There is no clicking sound or obnoxious music, but there is a tiny built-in iPod speaker to allow an iPod to play your choice of music. This is on the back, away from the baby.

The Babushka comes with 10 quilted seat covers that are elasticized, easily changeable and washable. The fabric would match the painting on the doll.

It can be easily disassembled and folded for storage.

Any takers?? I'm really serious!

(I'm notified by email when I have comments, so get in touch!)