Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Be Afraid...be very afraid!

What are you scared of?
I have always thought of myself as a wimp. Although I've had a lot of adventures they aren't the Survivor kind. If I wasn't afraid of boats and actually made it to the island, I'd be kicked off first.

I went to lunch with my dear friend who has always seemed very brave to me. She rode horses, jumped off cliffs, and flipped U-ies in the snow in her VW. She even dumped a guy because he wouldn't make a right turn on a red light. She just had it together, and knew how to hold her own, even with 3 older brothers. She would pick me up on her horse and I'd ride behind her hanging on for dear life. She had a boyfriend who let her keep his shotgun for 3 years! (I'm the mom who says "You'll shoot your eye out!") And she even liked cats. I'm scared to death of cats. When they walk behind you on the back of the couch???? YIKES! Anyway, on the way home from our lunch I thought about a few of my fears:

1. Bees.
I haven't ever been stung, so I don't know why. It's a bad thing to be scared of bees because it takes a lot of the joy out of being outside. My dad was very scared of bees, too.

2. Heights.
Being up high with a barrier is OK, but looking out over something that I could fall off is terrifying to me. I'm actually afraid I'll jump! Isn't that strange? I just realized my dad was scared of heights!

3. Spiders.
I was visiting Gabi, and I had just said goodnight and closed the door to my bedroom, when I saw a giant, hairy spider. I screamed and started trying to kill it by throwing my shoe at it. Brad came to the rescue, killed it, and all was well. The next day I was tending the kids and I saw another spider on the floor. I was the only adult! I knew I had to be brave and handle it myself, so I got the telephone book, heaved it on the floor, and then jumped on it with all the energy I had. I could still feel the spider! It wouldn't smash! I was horrified and didn't know what to do, or how to protect the kids from this invasion of arachnids! Jake was 6, and he was watching my display from the kitchen. He calmly walked over and picked up the book, and then picked up the spider!! "Why are you jumping on my plastic spider?" he asked. Silly Oma. I'm just re-reading this post, and I'm amazed to remember that my dad was scared of spiders. My mom always killed the insects and creepy crawly things.

4. Water in my ears.
I loved to swim when I was little. I even took diving in college and learned to do back flips off the high dive. One time I had water in my ears that wouldn't drain, and I got an infection and my eardrum broke. Since then even the thought of water trickling down my ear gives me shivers. Dad used to swim with his head above the water. Was he phobic about water, too?

5. Little places.
For a long time I was afraid I'd have to have a CAT scan someday and go in that tube. I could give myself panic attacks about it. Then a few years ago I had a horrific headache that wouldn't go away, and I finally went to the emergency room, fully expecting that I had a brain tumor. I think the doctors thought so, too. I had to have the dreaded CAT scan. A nurse came in just before it and asked me how I was doing, and I burst out crying. She comforted me, saying it was unlikely that it was a brain tumor, yada, yada, yada. I finally told her I was more afraid of the CAT scan. She gave me a shot of something, and I don't even remember the tube at all. Dee does. He reminds me all the time that he's seen the inside of my brain, in slices, and there was nothing there. I'm sure he means no tumors.

OK, I just read this through and I'm reminded that my dad was very claustrophobic. Hmmm....Did I inherit my fears through DNA, or the power of suggestion? Or are they from real events that happened in my past? Did I play in a tiny stairwell with bees and spiders, toddle to the top and fall off into a wading pool? My friend's dad was very daring. Did she get that DNA or is it all in your upbringing? If so, I'm sorry kids.

Now it's your turn to list five fears. What are you afraid of?

7 comments:

Kelly said...

It takes a brave person to admit to the entire world what they afraid of. Bravo to you!

purplessence said...

What a cute blog. I haven't been doing this long, but yours seemed very enjoyable.

anna jo said...

So that's why Pete told me I shouldn't tell you about a certain sensation I have in my ears after swimteam...

Mamakas said...

OK, so you have made me sound very adventureous... but I do have fears too; probably ones that you would brush off... I'm totally afraid of being called on spontaneously in Gospel Doctrine and I would break out in hives if I had to teach Relief Society. Where did you get all your "being up in front" confidence? Don't they always say that opposites attract... I guess that's why we have been friends for so loooooong!

mama jo said...

i always knew you were just like dad...i guess i got mom's genes....i'm trying to think what i'm afraid of...i had alot of used to be's...but, now, it's mainly health issues...getting alzheimers, cancer, heart attack...dying young...i'm afraid for my children's safety, i don't think i would go after a snake...only if someone else wasn't home....

whit said...

Marty..I am terrified of bee's, even when I hear a buzzing sound it scares me..just thinking about them gives me chills. You passed me up on the diving. I'm scared to death to do flips or dives off of the diving board or trampoline. I'm afraid I'll land on my head or break my neck. This summer I attempted to do one, but lets just say it took 3 hours to do a dive.

Anonymous said...

I was the child who was afraid of anything. . .Wizard of Oz, terrorists, crematoriums, Watcher in the Woods, being left behind, angels showing themselves to me. . .I was a psycho kid. In my teenage years I felt like I was invincible. I was ignorant, therefore, unafraid of anything. Now, as an adult, there is little I'm afraid of. Heights drive me crazy, but I still get a thrill looking down. I'm over my fear of spiders, they're the enemy that must be destroyed. I think I'm most afriad of dying young or losing someone I love. I have to admit, being tortured sounds pretty scary. . .

-Nimmy