Lessons From the Bedroom

I've been sick for about a week, and I've learned a few things.
1. Looking natural should cease to be a goal.
2. Laying in bed does not make me better; it makes me stiff.

3. "Just resting" gives me too much time for stressful thoughts.
For example: "Why doesn't anybody dust the light fixtures?"
And: "Maybe it's not laryngitis, maybe it's throat cancer."
Or: "Why does the phone keep ringing? Don't they know I'm sick?"
And: "Maybe I'm not stiff. Maybe my throat cancer has spread to my spine."
Or: "Why doesn't anybody call me? Don't they know I have cancer?"

4. Being sick gives me tons of time to read blogs.

5. The advertisements saying "My doctor says..." or "My doctor was worried..."
or "My doctor and I..." aren't referring to MY doctor. My doctor doesn't even call back.

6. I should have had cable installed in my bedroom. I actually should have a TV mounted on the ceiling. Maybe I should be
in the hospital just for TV viewing purposes.

7. Food tastes the best when it's made by my husband.

8. I love my apartment! I love my view! I love my decor! (Get me out of here.)

9. Doing nothing makes me feel useless. Doing anything makes me feel useful, (even if it is actually useless.)

OK!!! I'M THROUGH WITH THE BEDROOM! FIND ME A THROAT LOZENGE! FILL ME WITH ADVIL! WHERE'S MY MAKE-UP KIT? I'M OUT, BABY, I'M OUT!