Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Scary Stuff: Spiderwoman

Drawing by Joel Schick
The Gobble-uns'll Git You

It was chilly in the basement bedroom. I turned on the heat, kicked off my shoes and closed the door before I saw him hiding in the corner. My shriek echoed throughout the house and Brad pounded down the stairs to my rescue. I looked away while he killed the intruder . . . a giant, hairy spider.

Gabi and Brad left on vacation the next day, leaving me to protect their kids. I was walking down the hall when I noticed another large, black spider on the floor. Shivers ran up and down my spine as I realized there was nobody to help. Keeping an eye on the hairy beast, I walked backwards to the kitchen, put on some boots and got the telephone book. I was terrified.

With all the force I could muster I threw the book on the spider with a squeal and then jumped on top just to make sure it was squooshed to bits. Jake heard me yell and ran in to see what was going on.

Illustration by Judy Love

I was shaking as I lifted the phone book off the offensive creature, but I could see it was still big and fat. Jake leaned over to look closer, and picked up a black leg. "Why are you jumping on my plastic spider?" he asked, as he tucked it in his pocket. Duh, Oma.

Jake and Oma, 2009

Thanks for the memories, Jake!

Do you have any scary memories?


8 comments:

kenju said...

NO, you didn't!!! LOL

(I would have too)

Christie said...

Once I killed a spider in our basement, legs crumbled, all mashed up. I went to get a tissue to pick it up AND IT UNCOILED ITS LEGS AND STARTED WALKING AGAIN.

FREAKED me out. I scream for the boys now and they kill them. Can't take the resurrection.

Diane said...

We are kindred spirits. I can't even type the S-word.

Grandma Kc said...

I have a rule and I've passed it down to daughter and Granddaughter -- all bugs must be "double flushed" down the toilet. The first flush might not quite do it!

The Grandmother Here said...

Our son was walking home from school and stomped on a cocoon looking thing when thousands of baby spiders ran in all directions. Scared him to death. Never got over it. I bet he never goes to visit his nephew who has a pet tarantula named Charlie.

the wrath of khandrea said...

this was like watching a scene from a diane keaton movie. you being diane keaton. the spider being jack nicholson who just happened to see her naked.

the wrath of khandrea said...

this was like watching a scene from a diane keaton movie. you being diane keaton. the spider being jack nicholson who just happened to see her naked.

Gabi said...

This is the all-time favorite Oma Story at our house and will probably be spoken reverently at your funeral.