Pondering Joy

An incredible experience began for me in February 2012 when I was called as Relief Society president. I thought I knew what to expect because I'd been a counselor in RS five times, but I was clueless. It's like becoming a mother—there's much more work than I ever imagined, much more time, but much more joy. I'm exhausted with joy.

I can't count the whispers of inspiration that fill my mind as I think about the women I'm responsible for. Early in the morning, when my normal self would be sound asleep, ideas wake me up. They don't drift through my thoughts like vanishing dreams, they come with details, gently but firmly, with enough time to write them down. Solutions come for problems I won't know about until later, impressions of who I should contact settle in my heart, and a sense of peace restores me: it's lovely.

I'm brimming over. In my old estrogen-filled days, tears relieved the pressure of abundant emotion, but I don't cry as easily as I used to. Instead I gush, brag and rhapsodize about my ward, my neighborhood, my presidency, my bishop. I am totally overwhelmed with love for the people around me. I want to always feel this way. A primary song keeps running through my head:

I feel my Savior's love in all the world around me,

His spirit whispers peace in everything I see.

He knows I will follow Him,

Give all my life to Him,

I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me.

I can't begin to express my gratitude for this blessed time in my life. It is pure joy.

Who Am I?

Image from my Mary Engelbreit Calendar

My mind is a total jumble! I'm revamping my schedule and reinventing myself to add in the equivalent of a full-time job (Relief Society President) to my full-time life. But I'm loving it all!

My one frustration is knowing that members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) all over the world are doing the same thing I'm doing, just because we believe in doing good to all people. Yet we're being lambasted on every side, misrepresented and lied about on the news, in the Republican primary debates, on the radio, everywhere! I wonder why there is so much hatred and prejudice. What are we doing that bothers others so much?

I was excited to find this article in my email box this morning:

Paul Allen is the owner of the Seattle Seahawks, the ones who played
the Pittsburgh Steelers for the Super Bowl a few years ago. He is also
the owner of the Portland Trail Blazers NBA basketball team and is
co-partner with Bill Gates in Microsoft. He wrote this editorial in
the Santa Clarita, California newspaper:

I have heard and seen enough! I have lived in the West all my life. I
have worked around them. They have worked for me and I for them. When
I was young, I dated their daughters. When I got married they came to
my wedding. Now that I have daughters of my own, some of their boys
have dated my daughters. I would be privileged if one of them were to
be my son-in-law.

I'm talking about the Mormons.

They are some of the most honest, hardworking people I have
ever
known. They are spiritual, probably more than most other so-called
religious people I have encountered. They study the Bible and teach
from it as much as any Christian church ever has. They serve their
religion without pay in every conceivable capacity. Not one of their
leaders, teachers, counselors, Bishops or music directors receive one
dime for the hours of labour they put in.

The Mormons have a non-paid ministry - a fact that is not generally
known. I have heard many times from the pulpits of others how evil and
non-Christian they are and that they will not go to heaven. I decided
recently to attend one of their services near my home to see for
myself.

What a surprise!

What I heard and saw was just the opposite from what the religious
ministers of the day were telling me. I found a very simple service
with no fanfare. I found a people with a great sense of humour and a
well-balanced
spiritual side. There was no loud music. Just a simple
service, with the members themselves giving the several short sermons.

They urge their youth to be morally clean and live a good life. They
teach the gospel of Christ, as they understand it. The name of their
church is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. Does that
sound like a non-Christian church to you? I asked them many questions
about what they teach and why. I got answers that in most cases were
from the New Testament. Their ideas and doctrines did not seem too far
fetched for my understanding. When I read their "Book of Mormon" I was
also very surprised to find just the opposite from what I had been
told I would find.

Then I went to another church's pastor to ask him some of the same
questions about doctrine. To my surprise, when he found out that I was
in some way investigating the Mormons, he became hostile. He referred
to
them as a non-Christian cult. I received what sounded to me like
evil propaganda against those people. He stated bluntly that they were
not Christian and that they did not fit into the Christian mold. He
also told me that they don't really believe the Bible. He gave me a
pile of anti-Mormon literature. He began to rant that the Mormons were
not telling me the truth about what they stand for. He didn't want to
hear anything good about them. At first I was surprised and then
again, I wasn't. I began to wonder.

I have never known of a cult that supports the Boy Scouts of America.
According to the Boy Scouts, over a third of all the Boy Scout troops
in the United States are Mormon.

What cult do you know of that has a welfare system second to none in
this country? They have farms, canneries and cattle ranches to help
take care of the unfortunate ones who might be down and out and in
need of a little help.
The Mormon Church has donated millions to
welfare causes around the world without a word of credit. They have
donated thousands to help rebuild Baptist churches that were burned a
few years ago. They have donated tons of medical supplies to countries
ravaged by earthquakes.

You never see them on TV begging for money. What cult do you know that
instills in its members to obey the law, pay their taxes, serve in the
military if asked and be a good Christian by living high moral
standards? Did you know that hundreds of thousands of Mormon youth get
up before high school starts in the morning to attend a religious
training class? They have basketball and softball leagues and
supervised youth dances every month.

They are recruited by the FBI, the State Department and every police
department in the country, because they are Trustworthy. They are
taught not to drink nor take drugs. They are in the Secret
Service -
those who protect the President. They serve in high leadership
positions from both parties in Congress and in the US Senate, and have
been governors of several states other than Utah. They serve with
distinction and honour.

If you have Mormons living near, you will probably find them to be
your best friends and neighbours. They are Christians who try to live
what they preach. They are not perfect and they are the first to admit
this. I have known some of them who could not live their religion,
just like many of us. The rhetoric which is spread around against them
is nothing more than evil propaganda founded in untruths. (Others) had
successfully demonized them to the point that the general public has
no idea what they actually believe and teach. If you really want to
know the truth, go see for yourself. You also will be surprised.

When I first moved here some 25 years ago there were five
Mormon wards
in Santa Clarita, Calif. Now there are 15. They must be doing
something right.

"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything.
.... They just make the best of everything."

Send the Relief Society!

Chase

I'm up to my ears!

Two weeks ago I became president of our church's women's organization—the Relief Society—and I've been buried ever since. Our ward boundaries were realigned and I took over from three different presidents—everybody is new, wondering what their assignments are, and I have piles and piles of lists on my desk. I've only lived here five months, I don't know names, faces or even street names, and I already have a short list of folks who need relief.

But I've got a long list of women who are eager to help. I thought I'd be inundated with problems, and instead I keep getting calls: "I'm home during the day, and I'd love to take a meal to someone." "Is there someone who needs a visit? I'm available in the afternoon." "Let me handle that for you while you get organized." I'm up to my ears with women who are anxious to be engaged in a good cause. Wow!

And I've got a family full of support. Daughters who know the ropes are propping me up, and sons who have watched the action have encouraging words.

Dee has been practicing his new role for years—he already does all the grocery shopping, cooking and laundry. I doubt he'll even notice that I've become a negligent wife. He unloaded a trunk full of paper products, tablecloths and Christmas decorations onto the garage shelves while they wait for an official RS closet. Different group-lets of chatty women gather daily in our living room to discuss our duties, and he smiles pleasantly and heads upstairs.

The main thing I'm missing is you guys. You know how we hang out in our jammies without makeup? You don't even care if I've brushed my teeth! This gang of friends require real clothes and I have to wear shoes to visit them. And I can't do all the talking in my new relationships. I'm going to acquire a new skill—listening. Scary business.

Tomorrow I meet with my presidency for the first time, and I can't wait. (They're my new best friends and I don't even know them yet.) They're talented and willing to share their experience and expertise, and I'm anxious to delegate!

Do you wish you could be my counselor? Here are some issues I need counseling on:

1. How can we quickly develop a feeling of unity?
2. Any fun ideas for get-to-know-you activities?
3. What does/could the president of your organization do to make you feel included?

Counsel away! Advise me on anything you want to—I don't know enough to ask good questions. As you can see, I'm up to my ears!

New Persona

I'm wearing a new hat!

Remember last week when I told you about callings? Well, I got a new one—I'm the brand-new Relief Society president in our brand-new ward! I'm excited and overwhelmed and I've got a ton of stuff to learn, so I'll be back in a week or so. Wish me luck!

Mitt is Impressive: Part Two

I was kind of relieved Mitt didn't mention me by name tonight when he thanked his team. It would have been overwhelming to have all those reporters calling, and intimidating to have all those new readers. Still, I'm glad the voters in Florida had my input.

Just in case the folks in the upcoming caucus states need more convincing, I have additional opining to do.

Mitt may be a gazillionaire, but he's not out of touch with regular life. In fact he may know more of the nitty-gritty than most of us.

His father, George, was born in Mexico, raised in humble circumstances and never graduated from college. He apprenticed as a lath and plaster carpenter and sold aluminum paint before beginning a career that brought him to the head of American Motors and then the governorship of Michigan. A self-made man, by the time Mitt was a teenager George was able to give his family the best of everything.

Mitt grew up in a ritzy neighborhood and attended private schools. When he got married at age 22, he didn't worry about getting a student loan or paying the pediatrician—but he knew and served people who did.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a lay ministry. That means that everyone in the congregation has a responsibility to serve as a teacher, a youth leader, Relief Society president (our women's charitable organization) organist, blood drive coordinator, whatever.

The Bishop of the ward (congregation) prayerfully chooses people to serve in various capacities for a period of time (usually a couple of years) and calls (asks) them. I've been rotated through dozens of callings, from luncheon chairman, to nursery leader, to girl's camp director to newsletter editor. We get advice from people who have had the calling before us, study the church handbooks, pray for divine help, and learn on the job. It's a fabulous opportunity to build skills and confidence.

From the time they were married, Mitt and Ann Romney served in their ward like everyone else. When Mitt was thirty-four, the father of five young sons and just starting a highly demanding career, he was asked to be Mormon bishop. The fact that he was called speaks of his character and devotion to God. A bishop must be dependable, honest, trustworthy, true to his wife and generous with his time. He also needs a conviction that Jesus Christ is the son of God, and be willing to follow His teachings.

Being a bishop is a full-time job, without pay. Bishops visit and attend to the needs of single moms, widows, the poor, sick and elderly, and administer the church's social welfare program. They listen to problems and counsel members on everything imaginable: marriage, divorce, abortion, adoption, addiction, unemployment and even business disputes. The bishop directs staffing of ward organizations, supervises youth programs, attends activities, oversees finances, records, and building maintenance, teaches, conducts meetings, and trains others in their duties. Plus, he is the spiritual leader, the confessor and confidant, helping his flock change their ways and live Christ-like lives. A bishop does all this, but still keeps his full-time job and tries to be a devoted husband and father. It's tough, and totally impressive.

In Mitt's Boston ward he confronted anti-Mormon sentiment and worked to soothe relations in the community. He directed an outreach program to Hispanic, Portuguese and Southeast Asian converts, including Cambodian and Laotian refugees whose teenagers were joining the church in droves. “I had no idea people lived this way,” he told a counselor, after visiting poverty-stricken immigrants. When kids from his ward became involved with gangs, he went into those neighborhoods regularly, offering support and friendship. Parents came to him for advice.

He was highly motivated and “hands-on,” said a member of his ward. "If somebody’s roof leaked, Bishop Romney would show up with a ladder to fix it. I remember him picking butternut squash and yanking weeds on the church’s communal farm." He distributed that food to ward members in need. The LDS church has an employment program, and Mitt coordinated training and job interviews for people wanting to hire and be hired.

After a few years as bishop he was called as Boston's Stake President overseeing a region similar to a Roman Catholic diocese. That meant he was the clergyman, organization man and defender of the faith over several wards during a period of rapid growth.

Service on school boards or city councils, through charities or churches, benefits the whole community. Time spent with troubled kids (or keeping good kids from getting in trouble,) advising out-of-work parents, helping a couple adopt a baby—these qualify as civic contributions. Mitt Romney has been involved in public service his whole life.

Thirteen years of church leadership gave him vast experience with social, economic and moral dilemmas. He is sometimes seen as a flip-flopper because he doesn't express his beliefs in unequivocal soundbites. A person of compassion might have thoughtful reasons to see both sides of an issue. Here are three situations I know Mitt Romney faced:

• A young girl close to his family had an illegal abortion, and died because of it.
  
• A pregnant woman in his congregation had a life-threatening blood clot and was advised by one doctor to abort the baby to save her life. Another doctor said she didn't need the abortion, that both mother and baby could be saved.
• A married man he served with in the church confided that he was gay.

"A man who views the world at fifty the same way he did at twenty

has wasted thirty years of his life."
—Muhammad Ali

Mitt and Ann have raised five sons who carry on the Romney tradition. Having money does not guarantee character. (Think of the ultra-rich kids we see on TV and in the tabloids, the drug-addicted kids who are infamous for their bad behavior, adultery, broken families, and prison sentences.) Obviously the Romney's gave their children more than money could buy. It's short-sighted to look at money as their only inheritance.

Like every family, the Romneys have faced hardship: Ann was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1998, and more recently fought a battle with breast cancer. She credits her husband’s unwavering care and devotion in helping her through these ordeals.

I'm convinced that Mitt Romney is, and always has been a great man. He has balanced his life well, with generous service to God, family and community. I'm impressed.

There's even more to come ...

Mitt Romney Is Impressive

Mitt Romney

I am a life-long Democrat and a fan of President Obama, but I'd vote for Mitt Romney in a heartbeat. My respect for him supersedes party politics.

Politics is my sport—I listen to every debate, watch every pundit, read every stat. Over the years I've heard Mitt slammed for idiotic things, like perfect hair, ironed levis and stiff posture. "His sons are lined up behind him like they came from central casting," Chris Matthews says sarcastically. (Handsome, supportive sons are a reason we shouldn't vote for the guy?) "He's a flip-flopper," they say, and "He's too rich to identify with the rest of us." The Demos, the Repubs, they're all taking swings. I wish everybody knew what I know about Mitt Romney. This week I'm going to highlight some reasons I'm impressed.

He started well.

Lots of people are embarrassed by their youthful indiscretions. Fraternity parties, DUIs, free love, "I didn't inhale." It was the 60s—everybody was doing it. Well, not everybody. In 1966, at age nineteen, Mitt Romney chose to set aside his education and social life to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons) for three years, at his own expense.

Mitt Romney and his father George

An LDS mission is not a gap year experience, or a semester abroad. Missionaries are not tourists. They live in humble apartments, can't own cars, date or go out with friends. They get up early, exercise, study for a couple of hours and are out the door by nine a.m. to discover what good they can do.

Although I didn't go on a mission myself, I know many hundreds of people who have, including my brother, my husband, four of my kids, all four of my sons-in-law, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, dozens of friends, neighbors and church associates. I admire them all—it's an accomplishment.

Not just any member of our church can serve a mission. As a young man Mitt Romney had to qualify by living a certain way: no premarital sex, no drugs, alcohol or tobacco. He would have paid 10% of his income in tithing (from his allowance and part-time jobs) from early childhood.

LDS Tithing Slip

Members of the LDS church fast for 24 hours on the first Sunday of every month, and donate the money saved from those meals as a fast offering, which the Bishop of the ward (congregation) then distributes to needy families. Mitt would have paid this extra money, along with his tithing, throughout his teenage years, even though his parents would be paying it, too. We're taught from age three that charity is "the pure love of God," a quality we want to develop, and even little kids take satisfaction in contributing their nickels and dimes.

To be eligible for a mission, a person must attend church regularly. In addition to Priesthood Meeting, Sunday School and Sacrament Meeting on Sunday, Mitt attended weekly scout meetings and youth service activities. His father was the governor of Michigan, and Mitt attended private school, but he was treated like every kid in his ward. Church assignments included shoveling walks, raking leaves, cleaning the church, painting park benches, collecting clothing for charity, delivering food to the poor, helping people move, mowing lawns and lots more. I know this because it's the way every active Mormon grows up, and I was one. Many LDS kids think it's a privilege to serve as a missionary, and live to be worthy of the opportunity.

Elder Romney and his companion

Mitt went to France. In those days foreign speaking missions were three years and they learned the language on the job. The mission president (a mature man, responsible for about 100 missionaries) assigned him a companion—another young man who had been in France a few months longer—and the two of them knocked on doors and tried to convince French people to give up wine. They didn't have much success, and it was discouraging work.

LDS missionaries are sent primarily to teach people about Jesus Christ, and they do all sorts of things to exemplify Christ-like service. Because of their early training, they are comfortable helping folks with whatever needs to be done, whether it's cleaning a basement after a flood, or rebuilding a house after a tsunami. Missionaries develop tolerance and compassion for many different kinds of people of every religion, and Mitt served exceptionally. He learned to speak French fluently and developed a lifelong love of France and its culture, which enhanced his appreciation for other countries, and especially his own. He often defended the United States' involvement in Viet Nam and stood up for America.

A devastating accident changed his life while he was in France. Mitt was a passenger in a car with the mission president and his wife when their car was hit; the wife was killed. The mission president took a leave of absence to take her body home to the USA, have the funeral and grieve with his family, leaving 21-year-old Mitt and his companion in charge of the mission for an extended period.

During that time, Mitt was responsible for missionaries arriving, going home, and transferring within the mission; training new missionaries; motivating old ones; handling the daily problems of a hundred young men and women living in a foreign country. Humbled by his near-death experience, Mitt prayed to be equal to the challenge. He discovered innate leadership and organization skills, and developed great confidence in his abilities.

Mr. and Mrs. Mitt Romney

While Mitt was on his mission, Ann, his high-school girlfriend, joined the LDS church. She was attending BYU when he returned home to Michigan, so he followed her to Utah. They decided to get married ten days later, but waited three months to appease their parents. At age 22, Mitt Romney had the experience and courage to take on adult responsibilities. They got married March 21, 1969 and moved into a basement apartment.

Mitt Romney, young family Man

When Mitt graduated from BYU in 1971, they were already expecting their second son. In 1975 Mitt graduated cum laude from Harvard (in the top third of his class) with a joint law degree and MBA. By then they had three kids and Ann received her undergraduate degree that year, as well. I don't care how much money you have—you don't get four degrees and three kids in six years without a ton of hard work.

(They had two more sons by 1981.)

So—nothing humiliating, nothing disgraceful, nothing to cover up 43 years later. This is the story of how Mitt Romney spent the first ten years of his adulthood, from age 18 to 28. He definitely started well. And I think it's totally impressive.

(More of my impressions to come ... )

Faith in Blogging

Casual Bloggers Conference

Moderator: This afternoon's session is a panel on Faith in Blogging. (We're not talking any specific faith here.) Let's get acquainted with our panelists. Marty, tell us who you are, and how and why you incorporate faith into your blog.

Marty: I call my blog TravelinOma. It's about a grandmother (Oma) on a trek through life. Because I believe happiness is a way of travel and not a destination, I search for joy in the journey, adventure and fun in the twists along the path, and then write about what I find. I don't write about my faith (Mormonism) per se (although I have) but I often note how faith in God has made a difference in my life.

Moderator: Are you comfortable writing about your own religion? Are there things you avoid talking about?

Marty: When I first started blogging I had no idea who would read my blog. I wanted to be taken seriously, and I was afraid that if I announced up front that I was a Mormon living in Salt Lake City I would immediately be stereotyped. I am not a cliche, and I didn't want to be perceived as one. Eventually I realized I would be a stereotype unless I defined myself.

That's something I love about blogs. A blogger who writes regularly can't keep up a false image very long. The genuine person shines through, and labels and pigeonholes disappear.

I don't debate theology. Arguing religion is never productive. I don't want to thrust my religion down anyone's throat. But because my faith has influenced my choices, and therefore my experiences, it's apparent in every post. I've had emails and comments asking about Mormon beliefs and I answer them all. I know there's a difference between curiosity and interest, and I'm happy to go either way when I respond to people.

Moderator: Can blogging about faith make a difference in the world? What would you advise someone who wants to blog about faith?

Marty: I don't think my blog makes much difference to the world, but it's making a difference in my little world. There's a lot of harshness and ugliness on the internet. Writing something funny, helpful or encouraging and then sending it out to the blogosphere seems noble to me. It makes me feel noble. So for that piece of time in front of my computer I'm (sometimes) the kind of person I want to be.

My advice to bloggers would be to avoid sounding self-righteous, judgmental, overbearing or too pious. It's not our right to judge others, and it's impossible to change someone else. But we can be the change we want to see in the world—brighten up our own corner of the internet. Remember, a little leavening lifts the whole loaf.

Moderator: What gives a person authority to blog about faith?

Marty: "Middle age is the time of life when the most fun you have is talking about the most fun you used to have." I just write my own experiences. For what I'm writing I'm the expert. There is no other authority. I would never presume to speak for my church, and while I hope I'm a good representative, I'm just a regular person. But as far as my own personal religious experiences go, I am the authority. And those are the things I write about.

(This is an idea of what I hope I said.
I was so nervous that I have no idea what I really said.)

(By the way, the other panelists talked, too.)

The Casual Blogger Conference was a huge success. It was sold out (about 400 attendees) and the classes and workshops were varied and well done. I moderated a panel on Blogging Zen (organizing your on-line life) and attended a class called Finding Your Voice and another on Niche Blogging. A lawyer spoke on legal issues facing bloggers, and there were classes on design, photoshop, story-telling, photography and more . . . highlights to come!

Miracles

Sisters

Have you seen any miracles lately? They're all around.

My brave sister Polly has written a post about her experience with prescription drug addiction, drug rehab and what she learned during that time in her life. I'm inspired by her courage and the strength of character it took to turn her circumstances around. During those dark days I was continually reminded of the phrase "when bad things happen to good people." Now I'm continually reminded of how good people overcome bad things.

God first outlined a plan of life, with guidelines that would lead to happiness. Then He gave us agency: the opportunity to make our own choices. With that right, we accepted the fact that there would be consequences, good or bad.

Knowing we'd all make poor choices occasionally, God sent his son, Jesus Christ, to take the full brunt of the consequences for us when are humble enough to ask Him to. (That's a simple explanation of repentance and the atonement.) The miracle is when God allows a bad consequence to become a blessing in our life, increasing our wisdom. Our obligation then is to use that new wisdom to empathize, encourage and forgive others as they go through their challenges.

As I've watched Polly during the past few years, I've seen this miracle take place before my eyes. I'm grateful to know it happens over and over again for me, and my loved ones, and everyone else who has the faith to accept God's help. You'll be touched by Polly's story.

Peace at Home

Spectators at the Parade by Norman Rockwell

"I want a little piece of peace."

People go lots of places in search of peace: a mountain top, a bubble bath, a voting booth, a garden, a museum, a convent. We all long for peace, but few of us have much enthusiasm for doing what actually creates it. Peace isn't like an unexpected rain shower; it is achieved deliberately. And luckily we don't have to wait for the whole world to be at peace to live in a peaceful world.

As a new bride I decided to create a home where our family could retreat from the tension and conflict of daily life. I had some great ideas of what this peaceful haven would be like. Interestingly, Dee had different great ideas. We discussed, then debated, then argued.

A war happens when one side wants their own way more than they want peace, and I was willing to go to war—lay down my life, if need be—to prevail. Dee wanted peace. I wanted to win, but I actually wanted more than that; I wanted to be right. It took me a while to realize that I was the cause of tension and conflict even while I was trying to carry out my dream of peace. I didn't understand that peace involved more than agreeing on a Christmas tree or who should wash the dishes.

Peace is not just an absence of hostilities, it is a state of mind; a decision to be cheerful, understanding, kind, loving and lovable.

"Men who cry for peace sometimes look upon peace as something that may be picked as an apple from a tree, something that lies about within easy reach of humanity. If I pick an apple from a tree, I have first planted the tree, cared for it, watered it, brought it to maturity. Then in due time I may have the fruit.

"So with peace. It is not a thing by itself to be picked up casually, but it is the fruit of something sown.

"Peace can only be obtained by the use of a body of principles which, if obeyed, in time would give us peace. Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace. There is the way to peace."

---John A. Widtsoe

I love the Young Women's succinct list of Christ's teachings. When I apply them to myself, and remember they apply to others, the result is peace, in every circumstance.

1. Faith (The Lord will bless me.)
   
2. Divine Nature (I am a child of God.)
   
3. Individual Worth (I have something worthwhile to contribute.)
   
4. Knowledge (I must search for wisdom and truth, and learn from experience.)
   
5. Choice and Accountability (I will take responsibility for my choices.)
   
6. Good Works (I will serve others gladly.)
   
7. Integrity (I will be honest in my dealings, and repent when I fall short.)
   
8. Virtue (I will strive to be pure in my actions and thoughts.)

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work for it."

My marriage, my family, my home, my neighborhood: this is where I work for it. I want world peace, but I'm more likely to make a difference in my own little piece of the world.

I Believe in God

From The Reading Woman's Calendar

"The ability to know right from wrong is based on the truth that there is a right and a wrong, a universal standard of ethics that applies to everyone everywhere. One reason for today's decline in moral values is that the world has invented a new, constantly changing, undependable standard of moral conduct.

"Now individuals consider 'good' and 'evil' adjustable according to each situation. Some wrongly believe there is no divine law, so there is no sin. The world has to come back to the basics of divine virtues that have been taught since the times of the ancient prophets."

---Dieter Uchtdorf (Utah Valley University, Oct 28, 2008)

Ten Moral Changes I've Observed:
(for good and evil)

Back in the day...

1. Highly regarded people used the "N" word and nobody called them on it.
2. Girls who got pregnant were sent to live with an aunt, came home without a baby, and although everyone knew, nobody said it out loud.
3. The word pregnant was thought vulgar. Polite women said, "I'm expecting."
4. Swear words and the Lord's name in vain were never heard on TV.
5. Stores were closed on Sundays.
6. Nobody's parents condoned pre-marital sex.
   
7. Gay meant happy. Many teenagers didn't even know about homosexuality.
8. The neighbors could spank you if you needed it.
9. Couples who wanted to live together got married first.
10. People did lots of wrong things, but, back in the day, they knew they were wrong.

It's unsettling to feel shifting sands under my feet. Sadly, many in our society feel we have to make life up as we go along. Some would say there's no such thing as a solid foundation. I know there is.

I'm glad I was taught that a loving God gives us laws, not to restrict us, but to protect us. A good parent gives a child rules to keep him from danger. "Don't play with matches, you could get burned." "Don't run into the street. You could get hit." "Wear your seat-belt." You might not be in a car accident . . . but you might. It's wisdom to follow the rules and hopefully avoid difficult consequences.

Similarly, God's laws weren't given to take away our freedom. Quite the opposite: they safeguard our freedom. A tantrum with cries of "It's not fair . . . everybody else is doing it . . . you're mean" might wear down a mortal parent, until he stretches or changes the rules. Our Heavenly Father is used to tantrums. Because His laws are based on eternal truths, He doesn't adjust them to accommodate a fit of temper. The laws are laws, not just somebody's opinion. And God's laws are always consistent.

A prophet said, and children sing, "Keep the commandments. In this there is safety; in this there is peace." As I count my blessings, I'm grateful I know this is true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for participating in School Days!

TravelinOma will be featuring random holiday posts for the rest of the year.
January is the start of something new . . .
Don't miss it!



Graduation Announcements:

1. Two Extra Credit prizes have been awarded to Hannah at Sherbet Blossom, and Jenny at Formerly Phread for recruiting the most students to School Days. Congratulations!
   
2. Everyone who has completed every assignment for every class wins a prize. (You're on the honor system.) Email me your name and address by midnight Nov 20th, and I'll send you your prize. Write Honorary Degree in the subject line.
   
3. Everyone who has done most of the assignments (grade yourself) gets a Graduation Certificate. Email me your name by midnight Nov 20th, and I'll email you your certificate. Write Graduate in the subject line.
4. Everyone who came to class fairly regularly gets an Associate Degree. Email me your name by midnight Nov 20th, and I'll email you your certificate. Write Associate Degree in the subject line.
   
5. Graduation Ceremony Wednesday, November 25th. Prizes will be mailed that day, too.

My email is martyhalverson at comcast.net (use the at sign.)

YAY!!!

Leave a comment here so we can get to know you. School Days has open enrollment so join anytime. No make-up work required! If you're new, click here for an orientation.

Response to a reader on being a Mormon

In an email, a reader said she had attended the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a child, and now had a new curiosity about it. She was especially interested in how I could have a little bit of the rebel in me, and still be a member of what she called a very strict religion. Also, she wondered what would happen if she attended services on Sunday. Here's my response:

I don't know how much you know about Mormonism, but I love the teaching that we came to earth for the chance to choose which direction to take. Jesus said, "I stand at the door and knock" which means we get to choose whether to let Him in or not. Because I've watched the gospel plan in action in other people's lives, and tried it for myself, I totally trust it. That's why I've chosen to live it. I see the commandments as eternal laws that always work, and I have the opportunity to choose to keep them, or to try something else.

Experience and observation has now combined with my faith, and I know for myself that breaking commandments leads to unhappiness. I've seen how adultery, abuse, alcoholism, meanness, dishonesty, envy, pride, etc. destroys individuals, marriages and families. On the other hand, I've seen that service, charity, forgiveness, kindness, faithfulness, etc. build people up. An eternal perspective of the family gives me hope and motivation.

My understanding is that Heavenly Father is my partner as I try to live the commandments; He's understanding and helpful when I fall, and always there to help me back up, if I ask. So, I don't feel forced. My rebel isn't raised. I am happy, in spite of challenges and problems, and I think it's because I've made choices that lead to happiness. My bad choices have been turned into blessings over time, when I've asked God to take over and fix things.

I realize that bad things happen to good people. We can be victims of other people's bad choices. But that doesn't mean the gospel plan failed; people fail. I know that bad circumstances can be turned into good ones, with the help of Jesus Christ, and we can choose whether to ask for his help or not. When I've humbled myself, acknowledged I can't do it on my own, and sincerely asked for help, it's always come.

I view the Church of Jesus Christ, and the Latter-day Saints separately. The Church is the organization set up to teach the Gospel (the perfect plan for happiness) and help us live it fully. The Saints are just a bunch of imperfect people trying to apply the plan to their lives.

The Saints can sometimes be annoying. My rebel comes to life when somebody arbitrarily says we have to wear nylons to church, or that the Republicans are the one true party. I'm trying to develop Christ-like attributes, like patience and kindness, so my attitude is that these people mean well, but often they're preaching their own gospel and it isn't necessarily true. I read the scriptures and the General Conference issue of the Ensign magazine so I can tell the difference, and pray that I'll recognize the truths that will lead to happiness. Then I let everyone else make their own choices.

There are some things I don't understand about the Gospel so I take them on faith. I study things out, pray, and do what seems right. I guess I don't feel rebellious against the LDS Church because I've never felt forced to live it. When I hear all the rumors and gossip and different opinions, it bugs me, but I don't put people in the same category as the gospel. The gospel is true, and people are trying (in both senses of the word!)

Being active in the church, serving in callings, and teaching the principles to my kids have definitely given me peace of mind, eternal perspective and happiness. It's a commitment, but it's worth it.

I don't know your circumstances, or how familiar you are with your ward, but if you want to go back to church this is what I'd recommend: There are three meetings in a row on Sunday—it's a 3-hour block, with Relief Society, Sunday School and Sacrament Meeting. Just go, and attend whatever you feel like, and stay as long as you want. I think Relief Society is great. It's just women, and the lessons are usually very good and applicable. You'll probably feel like you're standing out as THE NEWBIE, but you won't. Every ward has a few visitors each week, and every ward has members who show up just occasionally. Some wards are friendly and you might feel overwhelmed, but they're just trying to be nice. Other wards (like ours) have visitors a lot, and people are offended because the lady next to them didn't introduce herself and act welcoming. It's usually because she was a visitor, too.

If you want to, introduce yourself to the Relief Society president. When the roll gets passed around, sign as a visitor if you want. The truth is, the presidency will notice you're there, and want to make you feel welcome, but they'll be worried that they might offend you in some way. They want you to have a good experience. You can sneak in and out without talking to anyone (people do it all the time) or you can join in the lesson, make a comment, ask a question, whatever you feel like doing.

Sunday School is as good as the teacher. You can usually sit in there and never be noticed at all, or you can participate. This year the lessons are from the Doctrine and Covenants.

When you go to Sacrament Meeting a few people might introduce themselves. They're not singling you out, necessarily. They're just being friendly. Sit wherever you want to. Everyone will assume you're visiting or that you've just moved in. Sing if you want, or just listen. Nobody will notice or care if you take the sacrament or not, so don't feel self conscious about that. Just pass the tray along. Don't judge the church by the speakers. They're sometimes interesting and sometimes boring, but they're always trying to do a decent job.

If you want to really jump in with both feet, introduce yourself to the bishop and ask for an appointment to see him. Then just explain yourself to him, and tell him your situation and how involved you want to be. Usually bishops are pretty sensitive and they become protective of people, anxious to help without too much interfering or pushing too hard. I have never had a bishop who is judgmental. They usually feel very humble about their responsibility and aware of their own shortcomings and mistakes to be disapproving. My experience is that they're loving and sympathetic.

Sorry to ramble on. I love talking about myself, and the church is a big part of me. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. I'd love to hear about your experience either way.

Who do you call on for help?

Illustration by Claudia Heaston

"Quite often we look at a task and think there is no way we can do what needs to be done.
That happens because we look at ourselves when we should be looking at God."
---Joyce Meyer

I spent the other evening calling six of my married kids all over the country, to inform them that their brother was in need. It was a gathering of Heroes by phone. The response was immediate. Pete's little nieces and nephews were roused out of bed to participate in family prayers; grown siblings sent e-mails inviting the adults of the family to participate in a family fast for Pete's speedy recovery; kids designed get-well-cards; calls, emails and generous offers of help and advice were sent off; all in the care of an ailing Unca Pete. I was the go-between for a few of those calls, and the concern, tears and interest refreshed my faith in the blessing of having a family.

"Get Well Soon, Uncle Pete!"

Emergencies remind families of the ties that bind, and the relationships that are sacred and lasting. Offers were numerous: for dinners, visits, lawn care, books, movies, rides—anything that could make things easier for our crippled patient during his recovery. But the thought behind the offer is what actually provides the healing power of love. Just seeing how effective a family rallying call can be is a comfort, knowing there are those who feel responsible and will be dependable in a crisis.

But with all that affectionate help, the most important direction to look for help is from above. God will allow opportunities to develop naturally from this situation. Friendships will be created, hard hearts will soften, and growth will be shared right along with flowers. My experience in this realm of emergency preparation is that there will be an abundance of chocolate chip cookies, but even more prayers asking for, and offering help. The Lord is the master relationship creator, and the right people will be led to do the right things, guaranteeing fellowship, closer bonds and harmony as a result of the situation. Other aspects of life will be affected in a positive way.

Anytime you're a participant in the trauma relief team serving a relative, neighbor or friend, notice the blessings that come to you just by being involved. I guarantee you'll be surprised at the good that comes out of praying as if everything depends on the Lord, and then working as if everything depends on you.

Pete's accident is the catalyst in our situation, but there are sure to be some in your family or neighborhood. When you join in the effort, watch for the miracles. They will come, I guarantee.

Where is Safety in a Dangerous World?

Morning After the Fire

A group of firefighters was working through the devastation of a Yellowstone forest fire, making sure that all the hot spots had been extinguished. In the middle of the path was a small heap of smoldering ash. One man kicked the pile to allow air to circulate and cool the brush.


Suddenly a little flock of baby quail fluttered from beneath the cinders. Other chicks gradually emerged from underneath other smoky bumps. "These piles of ashes are the mother quail," a ranger realized.

The mother's body had covered her chicks, sheltering them from the searing flames. Though the heat was enough to consume her, it allowed her babies to find safety underneath. In the face of the rising flames, she could have easily flown away, but she was the only hope of safety for her chicks. She gathered them under her body, shielded them with her wings, and made herself stay through the raging flames.

Reflections of Christ
by
Mark Mabry

Jesus said,

"How oft would I have gathered my children together,
even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings,
and ye would not."
Matthew 23:37

Photography by Mark Mabry

The teachings of Jesus Christ offer ultimate safety.
His loving sacrifice and triumphant resurrection give me purpose and hope.

I believe.

General Conference French Toast Party

A toast to French toast!

I raise my frothy cup of cocoa
(topped with whipped cream and sprinkles)
in praise of what those chefs can do with stale bread.
I even donned my Provence apron, and created a Conference Sunday Brunch
Marie Antoinette would die for. (Oh...she did??)

Creamy Baked French Toast

1 firm loaf of French bread cut into cubes
1 8-oz. pkg cream cheese cut into small cubes
12 eggs
1 and 1/2 cups half and half
1/3 cup maple syrup
1 cube of butter, melted

Spray a 9"x 13" pan with Pam. Spread half the bread cubes evenly in the pan. Dot all over with small cubes of cream cheese. Spread the rest of the bread cubes on top. Beat the eggs, add the cream, syrup and melted butter and mix well. Pour evenly over the bread cubes. Use a spatula to press the mixture down to soak the bread with the eggs. Cover, and refrigerate overnight. Bake at 350 degrees for 40-50 minutes until set and golden brown.

Cut in squares, dust with powdered sugar,
and serve with syrup and fresh strawberries.

After brunch we got comfy for the main General Conference activity.
We rolled our cream-cheese stuffed bodies over to the TV
to listen to wise words from our Prophet and Apostles.
Pillows were propped, shoes were kicked off,
and the prime spots were spoken for.

For those unfamiliar with this LDS tradition, twice a year all the leaders of our church gather in Salt Lake City for a worldwide conference. There are five 2-hour meetings, consisting of sermons, and choir singing. Thousands of leaders and members from all across the world come to attend in the Tabernacle or the Conference Center, but it's broadcast world-wide and many locals generously let the visitors have the hard seats, while we stay home in our pajamas, sleep in, and watch it on TV. When our kids were little, our family developed some traditions to make it memorable:

Conference bingo with M & M's, coloring books with prophets to identify and beautify;
Mazes and word searches with Sunday School answers.
Lots of treats, chips and dips, soda pop, juices, and specialty main-dishes at the ready.
A few quiet toys to entertain the nursery crowd when it starts seeming long:
(puppets, wooden train, books, stuffed animal friends.)

Since each broadcast has the potential of becoming boring for little kids,
(and sleep-inducing for the big ones,)
We tried to create a family-party type atmosphere that we all looked forward to.

But it took an in-law to bring us our all-time favorite game:
Conference Brackets.
(We call it April Madness.)

Every player picks a number, which gives us the order in which we pick a Gospel Word
that we're betting will be said at the first of the talks.
The inventor of the game, and keeper of the brackets,
writes down our word and keeps track of who plays who in the Sweet Sixteen, the Final Four
and the championship rounds.

It's important to choose a popular word that will be mentioned up front by the speakers.
Faith, pray, repent, love, and serve always make the playoffs.
The first word mentioned in a talk takes the round.

Listening carefully to the Prophet, we hear him say Scott's word, "Pray."
"Pray!" we cheer.
Scott has moved on to the next bracket.
Anna wisely choose "Repent."
"Repent!" she squeals.
"So do we still have to keep listening even after we hear our word?" Pete wonders.
"Yes!" is the resounding answer,
from the younger, more faithful contingency.

Our game-meister always provides appropriate prizes.
Everyone wants to win the Monson Buck!

I lift my orange-juice glass in a toast to Conference Sunday:
"Merci!"
If only church could be this uplifting,
and this fun, every week!

Mothers and Grandmothers

Matriarch of a big peasant family, colorful, kerchiefed, round and rosy-cheeked—
who could represent me better?

I started collecting nesting dolls a long time ago. Made in Russia, the real name is Matryoshka, from a word that means Mother. They are sometimes called Babushka Dolls, which I like, too, because it means Grandmother.

There are lots of different themes and designs, and I delight in seeing how the artists from various villages paint them so meticulously. My granddaughters love taking the dolls apart to reveal smaller dolls fitting inside one another. I tell each girl that the big doll represents her. Her mom is next, and I am after that, with generations of grandmothers and great-grandmothers, back and back and back, who all love her and want her to be happy. If those women could, they would share the lessons they have learned about life.

Art by Kathryn Brown

I hope these little girls can someday realize the blessing of being Matryoshka and Babushka. So many women have "succumbed to a dangerously narrow" view of womanhood, "repudiating homemaking itself as an outmoded and dispensable artifact of a misguided culture." In the article HomeLess America, Bryce Christensen states that women's traditional skills have lost their value. By rejecting a role differentiation between fathers and mothers, some women have lost sight of the home as an "independent moral realm, building relationships and values that are different from those of the commercial realm."

Some destructive fabrications of society that I hope my little granddaughters will recognize as lies:

1. Men are smarter, have all the power and are more important, so if we want to have influence in the world we should be more like them.
2. Marriage and family are confining.
3. Motherhood is menial and a waste of any talented woman's time.
4. Women are perpetually frazzled and failing.
5. A woman's value is based on her size, shape, and what she accomplishes outside the home. (Listed in the words of Sheri Dew.)
   

Some truths I hope these girls will learn from the legacy of their mothers and grandmothers:

1. By developing the God-given nature to nurture, women have a unique opportunity to change the world.
2. The influence of a mother has no limit and no end. She can share every aspect of her education and experience in the atmosphere of love she fashions.
   
3. Creating a home is a way of creating a world.
4. Women have abilities beyond their wildest dreams to organize and create.
5. Women are the soul of a family and a community.

It's been said that women are the survival kit of the human race. That responsibility has been handed down from generation to generation.

In fact, it's our tradition.

Do Unto Others

From the Little Big Book of Comfort Food

When George Albert Smith was the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints during World War II, he encouraged Church members to continue to donate work, food, and clothing to help feed and clothe others. Even during rationing and personal hardship contributions were generous.

The war left many people starving in Europe. In 1945 donations were already being sent from Utah through the regular mail to the country's former enemies in Germany. Only small packages were accepted and the cost was prohibitive. President Smith decided to go to the president of the United States and ask how the Church could send food and clothing to these desperate people.

He finally received a twenty-minute interview with U.S. President Harry S. Truman on November 3, 1945. Later, Smith described the interview at the White House:

“I have just come to ascertain from you, Mr. President, what your attitude will be if the Latter-day Saints are prepared to ship food and clothing and bedding to Europe."

He smiled and looked at me, and said, "Well, what do you want to ship it over there for? Their money isn’t any good."

I said, "We don’t want their money."

He looked at me and asked, "You don’t mean you are going to give it to them?"

I said, "Of course, we would give it to them. They are our brothers and sisters and are in distress. God has blessed us with a surplus, and we will be glad to send it if we can have the co-operation of the government."

Then President Truman said, "You are on the right track,” and added, "we will be glad to help you in any way."

George Albert Smith opened the way for hundreds of thousands of pounds of relief supplies to be delivered to people in Austria and Germany who were the worst affected by the devastation of the war.

"The miracle is this--the more we share, the more we have."
---Leonard Nimoy

I experienced a little miracle one Sunday morning that proved this saying true.

Our church's youth group collected food, and met in a downtown park to serve breakfast to homeless people who gathered there. I was one of the adult leaders. Buffet tables were set up and our kids stood behind the tables fixing scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes and potatoes, while a long line of hungry folks filled their plates.

I stood at the last table with two 12-year-old girls, pouring milk into cups. We had a number of gallon jugs under the table, but we were worried when we noticed how quickly we emptied the bottles. There was still an endless line when we reached for the last three bottles. By then we knew we'd run out before everyone got some, so one of the girls took cups of milk to some of the children.

Stacy (Morrison) and I kept pouring the milk. She opened a new package of paper cups, and we kept pouring . . . and pouring. It didn't run out! Stacy said, "I can't believe that we still have milk left." Then we started counting. Two half-empty gallons of milk filled almost 100 cups, and we still had milk when the last of the people filed past! It was like participating when Jesus fed the 5,000.

I had this experience about 18 years ago, but I'll never forget it.
It taught me that the Lord will take our meager offering, and make it enough.