The Conversationby
Abraham Leon Kroll
I'm missing some eyelashes. Apparently I rubbed too hard when I took my mascara off last night and now I have a bald spot in the middle of my eyelid.
This couldn't have come at a worse time. You see, I'm speaking at Women's Conference and I want to look my best. It wouldn't be so noticeable if my eye wasn't twitching so obnoxiously. I know a twitching eye is practically invisible to an onlooker, but the new red zit on my nose is a beacon pointing the way.
I wouldn't care so much if I could paint my fingernails a bright color and pull the attention to my hands. However I broke a nail halfway down, so I either have to cut them all off to the nubbins and make them match, or wear inconspicuous polish.
Or get fake nails. And fake eyelashes! But then I might forget and itch my twitching eye and both could fall off in the middle of my speech. My cheeks would turn bright red in embarrassment...but at least they'd match my nose.
I'm so nervous! Can you talk?
I'm so sorry I'm going to miss your talk - I know it will be fantastic. Even if you just stood up there and read posts like this one (which I know you won't) it would be worthwhile. Break a leg!
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh so hard! :0) I'm imagining you sitting on one hand while the other attempts to hide the "beacon" all the while your eye is spasming....you paint a pretty picture! :0)
ReplyDeleteYou are going to do SO well! How can you not? No one will notice the missing eyelashes and make up does wonders for acne {I should know!} Go Oma!
Just keep this in mind, Marty...they're not there to LOOK at you, they're there to listen to you. I've done my fair share of public speaking thru church-related things, too, and that's what I focus on. If they're there to look me over instead of listening to what I say, why are they wasting their time?
ReplyDeleteYou will do so great! I love your blog, Im sure I would love your talk!!!! (workshop, whatever) wish I could be there!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I wish I could hear your talk. Do you think you will post it online at some point?
ReplyDeleteHa ha...you sound like my mom! Good luck on your talk, I wish I didnt work so that I could come! But I know you'll do amazing!
ReplyDeleteOh, Marty. You are a riot. Just be YOURSELF and everyone at the conference will love you! How can they not??
ReplyDeleteDear Marty,
ReplyDeleteI would prefer someone who was missing a few eyelashes and a fingernail or two and who was really interesting to someone who was perfect and BORING!!!!!
They'll love you for the effort you put into your comments to them and will not even notice anything else.
You will be fine, and we will be pulling OUR eyelashes out waiting to hear all about it.
It's just nerves! You'll be fine and you'll do fine. I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteJust start with that as your opening and everyone will love from the beginning. They won't care if your nose looks like Rudolph or your nails like they've been chewed by the Loch Ness Monster . . . real words, real emotions that's all any public speaker needs.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be great.
Oh no. Why do these things happen at the worst possible time?!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll do a great job, despite a few, little tiny cosmetic things, which I bet no-one notices.