Life Lessons

Like I say, a little gray hair is a small price to pay for all this wisdom:

On Being a Kid:

1. You grow out of being the smallest.
2. Fractions are more important than you thought.
   
3. Never "joke" that you saw a neighborhood kid floating in the canal.
4. Assume that your brother will find your diary and show it to his friends.
   
5. Hope you get that many interested readers later when you have a blog.
6. Your mom will find out when you change your report card.
7. A tight curly perm won't make you look like Annette Funicello.
8. Don't ever swear at your mom.
9. Someday the mean 4th grade boys will be your sons.
10. Grandparents are nicer than parents.
    

On Being a Teenager:

1. Even the popular kids don't think they're popular.
2. Peer pressure prepares you for parenthood.
3. It's the longest six years of your life.
4. The music you love will always be the music you love.
5. It really wasn't the best time of my life.

On Being Married:

1. It really is the best time of my life.
   
2. Marry somebody you like being with for hours, doing nothing much.
3. Reminisce often so you'll remember why you fell in love in the first place.
4. Notice reasons to fall in love over and over again.
5. Laugh as often as possible.
6. Expect troubles. They come whether you're married or not.
   
7. Perfect people are very annoying. Be glad you didn't marry one.
8. Go on trips,
   
9. Or plan trips you want to go on,
   
10. Or at least watch TV together.

On Being a Mom:

1. It's harder than you think.
2. It's way more fun than you think.
3. There are lots of days you wonder why you had kids at all.
4. You can't imagine your life without your kids.
5. Kids totally take over your life
6. But you'd give up anything for your kids, so it works.
   
7. You hope your kids will someday realize all the stuff you did for them;
8. You wonder if you really did anything important for them.
   
9. Kids put you in a time warp—
10. Twenty minutes til bedtime can seem like six hours
11. Looking back, twenty years can seem like six hours.
    
12. You'll feel older when they're 8, 6 and 4 than you do when they're 28, 36, and 40.
13. They won't remember that you picked them up faithfully every day after school.
14. They'll remember the one day you got there fifteen minutes late.
15. Their most memorable present will be the one they didn't get.
16. Kids teach you more than you teach them.
17. You could be a really good mom if it weren't for all the kids.
18. Parenting books are written by people with nannies.
19. Most of us think we became functioning adults all on our own.
20. All mothers are working mothers
21. Motherhood is a multi-faceted career.
    
    

On Getting an Education:

1. School teaches you how to learn.
2. Most education takes place after you finish school.
3. Life stages are like advanced degrees.
   
4. It's possible to get several master's degrees at once:
   
5. I studied childhood psychology for 20 years,
   
6. Family relations for 43 years,
   
7. Adolescent behavior for 20 years.
8. I minored in Homemaking, History,
   
9. Creative writing, Computer science.
   
10. Continual learning keeps you from noticing senility.
    

On Life in General:

1. I am wiser than when I started.
2. Getting old is just as challenging and interesting as being young.
3. Fear is the opposite of faith.
4. Worrying doesn't do anything except make you feel like you're doing something.
5. Collecting people to love is a worthwhile hobby.
6. In spite of everything, life is fun.
7. God is good.
   

I'm glad I made it to sixty-three!

Happy Birthday to me!