Drawing by Joel SchickThe Gobble-uns'll Git You
It was chilly in the basement bedroom. I turned on the heat, kicked off my shoes and closed the door before I saw him hiding in the corner. My shriek echoed throughout the house and Brad pounded down the stairs to my rescue. I looked away while he killed the intruder . . . a giant, hairy spider.
Gabi and Brad left on vacation the next day, leaving me to protect their kids. I was walking down the hall when I noticed another large, black spider on the floor. Shivers ran up and down my spine as I realized there was nobody to help. Keeping an eye on the hairy beast, I walked backwards to the kitchen, put on some boots and got the telephone book. I was terrified.
With all the force I could muster I threw the book on the spider with a squeal and then jumped on top just to make sure it was squooshed to bits. Jake heard me yell and ran in to see what was going on.
Illustration by Judy LoveI was shaking as I lifted the phone book off the offensive creature, but I could see it was still big and fat. Jake leaned over to look closer, and picked up a black leg. "Why are you jumping on my plastic spider?" he asked, as he tucked it in his pocket. Duh, Oma.
Jake, 2008
LOL!!!!!!!! Remember those rubber snakes one could buy in the 5&10? I was out at my mom's and we were talking at the kitchen table and she had left a some dishes soaking in the sink. She went over to finish washing the dishes and, no sooner had she put her hands in the water, she screamed. My little brother, then about 13, came dashing into the kitchen laughing. He'd tossed one of those snakes in mom's dishwater.
ReplyDeleteI was giggling as I told him, "If I'd done that I'd be dead right now."
I see where your wimpy son gets his flare for hating the spiders. He won't kill them. I have to. Which is just. so. wrong!
ReplyDeleteSo funny! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteWe had guests come from France and my boys put rubber snakes in the guest beds. Great international relations.
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