Deep Thoughts from My Out-Laws

I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our "friend."

It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting more money.

If I had the time to sit down and write a thank-you note to everyone who sent me a nice, expensive present, what a wonderful world that would be.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was why several of us died of tuberculosis.

As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.

I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

(Quotes are from Jack Handey. Photos are published without permission.)