Nighttime

I love downtown nights. When we lived in the suburbs our dog barked during the night, and raccoons played in the bushes and garbage cans. Other than that it was pretty quiet. I'd get up to see why the dog was barking and it was too dark to see anything outside. I don't like darkness or silence. If there's too much of either one I get scared and start seeing shadows and hearing footsteps. Actual shadows and footsteps seem comforting to me. It means I'm not the only one awake.

We live near a hospital and a fire station now, so there are often sirens, which make me feel protected. I can hear people walking home late, laughing and talking, as their shoes click along the sidewalk. There's a parking structure over a couple of blocks that's empty at night, and there are some kids that skateboard there. They ride the elevator up to the top and then cruise down eleven levels. It's lit, and I can see them in their baseball caps, and hear them call to each other. I often wonder if their moms know where they are. There are office buildings with lights on throughout the night. I can see people working late, sitting at their computers, or talking on the phone.

Right now I'm listening to someone's music as they wait for a red light, and I can hear our clocks all ticking at different paces. Dee is snoring. I've got my window open and it's raining, and a car alarm is going off down the street. I love to sit out on our deck late at night and just soak it all in. It makes me feel connected and part of the world.

I've always had insomnia, but even when I'm tired, I don't want to go to bed. I don't want to miss the night.